Me: What's the wifi password?
— ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) March 11, 2018
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Barman: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Barman: £3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
I remember not wanting to wear a gold jumpsuit like a rejected member of ABBA or if I could memorize dialogue in a foreign language-but thought "Who cares? No one outside of Germany will ever see this!" Thanks to the internet-NOTHING EVER GOES AWAY. Who knew? https://t.co/qkmBOsajLS
— Mark Hamill (@MarkHamill) March 11, 2018
#AgentsOfSHIELD (95% 🍅) is the highest rated show in Marvel history #SHIELD100 pic.twitter.com/88Yg9YbRlf
— Rotten Tomatoes 🍅 (@RottenTomatoes) March 10, 2018
the worst thing about being old is even fun things make you tired!!! weed? gotta nap..booze? hmmm yawning at the bar...an elder bitch can sleep on a pile of cocaine lol
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) March 10, 2018
recommended reading: https://t.co/qleWr6WUV2 https://t.co/fcDngkYLLd
— cwage (@cwage) March 8, 2018
Coca-Cola is launching its first alcoholic drink https://t.co/UjneFlLFCb
— FoxNashville (@FOXNashville) March 8, 2018
they found me. time to burn this account and start over on an alt. bye everyone pic.twitter.com/tE53TVnFdk
— cwage (@cwage) March 8, 2018
21/21 "For the glory of the Motherland"... All I have to say is this, guys. If you learn nothing else from Russia, please, learn to always, always run as fast as you can from the motherfuckers who say they want to bring glory to your country. I am done for tonight.
— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) March 8, 2018
