Hey @PredsNHL whoever decided that âbring your dog to work dayâ was a good idea is no longer on my Christmas Card list.
— Gnash (@Gnash00) June 22, 2018
"The marijuana bill passed today"
— choke (@chokeules) June 20, 2018
"Damn, Marijuana Bill passed? RIP, dude was a legend"
"No, not Marijuana Bill, THE marijuana bill"
"Yeah, THE Marijuana Bill"
"Bro, listen, weed is legal now"
"Aw man, bummer that Bill isn't here to see it"
JURASSIC PARK SEQUEL IDEA:
— JR (@JRDRD) June 21, 2018
3 Million AD.
The humans are extinct.
The dino-scientists find mosquitoes with human blood.
Guess who they clone...
Jeff. Fucking. Goldblum.
They mix up the mosquito DNA with Goldblum's.
Surprise assholes.
This is now a sequel to The Fly.
Anyone know somewhere in Nashville I could donate these desks to? I have 20 of them. pic.twitter.com/kJvTUtwN9N
— Jonathan H. Wage (@jwage) June 21, 2018
Koko the gorilla once ripped a sink out of the wall and, when her keepers confronted her about it, she blamed her kitten, signing "cat did it." That HAD been my favorite Koko story, until I saw this:
— Red Durkin (@RedIsDead) June 21, 2018
RIP to an absolute legend pic.twitter.com/sH6mGQVVZ3
This t-shirt was for sale outside President Trumpâs rally in Duluth tonight... pic.twitter.com/0LOcYgpd01
— Jenna Johnson (@wpjenna) June 21, 2018
Do you know this girl? Let us know if you do. She vandalized our place last night. Please call 615-829-6023 and let us know if you recognize her. pic.twitter.com/bKqwlmbSJL
— Peg Leg Porker (@PegLegPorker) June 21, 2018
Fuck, I had to open a change request to reboot a server today.
— SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity) June 21, 2018
I mean, I understand. But that doesnât really feel like being an elite god, does it?
man this edible ain sh.. pic.twitter.com/JVVXVscQuZ
— rÌ¨Í oÍÍdÌÍÍÌnÍ̼Ì̲e̴̬yÌ¢ÍÌ¥ÌÍÌ®ÍÌ lief (@rodneylief) June 20, 2018
*spinning a wheel that is just labeled Profoundly Sad* time to discover what todayâs emotion will be
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) June 20, 2018
There are two kinds of people in the world. I would not have solved that correctly. pic.twitter.com/XZzStPgmb5
— Martin âLick The Bombâ Pfeiffer🏳ï¸â🌈 (@NuclearAnthro) June 20, 2018
Ok, Iâm gonna need everybody to set their character alignment to Chaotic Good for the rest of this campaign
— Billionaire Bouillabaisse 🧐💰â ï¸🍜 (@bornwithatail_) June 20, 2018
Democratic Minnesota Senate candidate Richard Painter just released this campaign ad. pic.twitter.com/hFLRtI5YSK
— Ryan Saavedra 🇺🇸 (@RealSaavedra) June 18, 2018
If Russia wins the World Cup, they will visit the White House.
— Medium Happy (@jdubs88) June 19, 2018
Godwin has officially suspended Godwinâs Law. https://t.co/3KJRRrRryT
— Mark Frost (@mfrost11) June 19, 2018
Happening soon! Join our colleagues from @TravelGov for a Facebook Live event at 10:00 a.m. ET to ask your questions about traveling with kids and to hear their tips to make traveling with the whole family easier. https://t.co/JRBPBChNju
— Department of State (@StateDept) June 19, 2018
Oh my godâplease read this atrocious puff piece by @HirokoTabuchi. Despite the fantasyland @MayorBriley and Barry would like to live in, Nashvilleâs transit plan did not fail because of the Koch brothers. Virtually every demographic group voted against it. https://t.co/uWVBD2WzLh
— Daniel Horwitz (@Scot_Blog) June 19, 2018
A long time ago when I was in college I was lucky enough to play in a great D&D campaign called (by the players, anyway) Catholic World. Eric was a superb GM. It was a low magic, high morals world. I don't think any of us ever scored a +1 weapon, but we knew right from wrong. 1/
— Bryant Durrell (@BryantD) June 18, 2018
ME AT EPCOT IN 1992: âoh my god a video telephone call? that would be the greatest thing ever!â
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) June 17, 2018
ME NOW: âsomeone tried to FaceTime me so I lit my phone on fireâ
âWe Must Protect The Pure Aryan Bloodline,â Says Child After 9 Minutes Of Unsupervised Facebook Access https://t.co/jK8iOzKaCR pic.twitter.com/98oeE0M8sH
— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 15, 2018
Saw this picture today and itâs hilarious pic.twitter.com/JiDHzAHdHG
— Javier Lozano (@jglozano) June 14, 2018
