Hey, buddy,
So great to hear from you. It’s a bummer that we’ll miss you while you’re in town. We’re sneaking away for a little babymoon before Keithlyn arrives. It sounds corny, but we seriously need it. (What do you think of Keithlyn as a unisex baby name, by the way?) I guess we’re going to be ships in the night this time. Like, actual ships—my wife and I are going to be on a prenatal-yoga harbor cruise. We’re super stoked for it.
Anyway, I know you’re around for just a couple of days, but here are the restaurants you should definitely check out while you’re here:
For breakfast, you’ve got to try Frnch Tst. They open at eight, but if you’re not in line by quarter to six—forget it. There’s only one item on the menu: a single slice of French toast, served in a waxed-paper sleeve. They only let you buy one, and they sell them until they run out, usually around 8:06 A.M. They don’t have any maple syrup, but this French toast doesn’t need maple syrup. It’s that good. They do offer a house-made sriracha, which sounds like a gross combination but is actually amazing.
My favorite lunch spot is Mama Rosa’s. Not the original Mama Rosa’s. The Finnish mob burned down that building when Little Helsinki started to spill over into Little Havana. It’s still the best Cuban food in the city, though. I go there, like, three times a week. O.K., technically, it’s not in the city; it’s in the main concourse of a minor-league baseball stadium in the burbs, about an hour and a half away. You’re going to need to take a commuter train and buy a ticket to the game, but that absolutely shouldn’t deter you. Everything on the menu is awesome, but the tres leches cake is ridic. Get it to go, though. Consuming that much dairy in the sun will make you pass out.
If that’s not your speed, check out Greenliness. The food is all vegan, but it’s so good you’ll swear it’s vegetarian. They grow the ingredients right in the restaurant, so it’s fully table-to-table. Plus, it’s right around the corner from this great used-book store that’s never open.
For dinner, there’s a super-authentic pho place, but you can only get in with a Vietnamese passport. They’re tough to track down, but it’s totally worth it. Let me know if you want me to introduce you to my guy.
If you can’t get the paperwork in order, no problem. Make a reservation at Le Coquette. It’s the new French place by that lady who got kicked off “Top Chef” after her blowfish sushi killed one of the judges. It’s a little pricey, but every course will change your life, some of them in ways you might not like. The duck pâté made me realize that I’m not really afraid of failure; I’m afraid of success. I mean, wow, right? Plus, the signature cocktails all have truffle oil in them, which is the most amazing thing you’ll ever pretend you can taste.
Otherwise, Bub’s Tavern is a fun little neighborhood hole-in-the-wall. Heads up: the service is kind of slow. The original waitstaff from the sixties is mostly still there, and when a server dies they don’t replace him, so the kitchen can get pretty backlogged. If you want the full Bub’s experience, order the burger. They put sawdust in it, which Bub insists is some kind of Old Country tradition. It tastes horrible. The worst you’ll ever have. It’s great. Just try not to mention that you’re Jewish. Mrs. Bub has some opinions.
You’re going to want to save room for dessert, too. There’s this new spot right by your hotel called Umamicake. They have an incredible buffet of savory toppings. Gravy, paprika, balsamic vinegar, you name it. It’s that whole salty-sweet craze. Just F.Y.I., it’s B.Y.O.C. (bring your own cake). If you like it, maybe we can go together next time you’re in town!
Let me know what you end up doing. And have fun! ♦
