7:02 pm: I'll probably have 1 or 2 beers
— Becks (@BecksWelker) November 21, 2015
2:43am: [emailing the former CEO of radio shack] WHY THE FUCJ WERE U SELLING VCRS IN 2014
Prisoner #1: What are you in for?
— Keely Briar (@tinydinosaurs) December 15, 2016
Prisoner #2: murder, you?
Prisoner #1: grand theft auto - how about you?
Me: uh.... .. pic.twitter.com/sjklIasnU8
BREAKING: China's navy has seized an unmanned, underwater U.S. Navy vehicle in international waters of South China Sea.
— Reuters (@Reuters) December 16, 2016
btw heres that list of sex acts banned from porn in the uk. including consensual degradation and adults roleplaying. amazing. pic.twitter.com/mQKsYYkFXx
— shoe (@shoe0nhead) December 15, 2016
This is far and away the best Nemesis GIF Iâve made so far. pic.twitter.com/xiprahlXDw
— Swear Trek (@swear_trek) December 14, 2016
No son, I didn't work on the Muslim registry. Dodged that bullet through inability to merge linked lists in C. Praise be
— Jeff Meister (@jmeistr) December 14, 2016
If you thought 2016 was bad - I'm releasing an album in 2017.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 13, 2016
.@MayorMeganBarry has hired Brian Kelsey -- no, not the TN state senator -- to be Metro's first-ever chief strategy officer.
— Joey Garrison (@joeygarrison) December 13, 2016
I'm now hearing this meme that Rachel & Ross will never get together because he's marrying that Brit.
— Alex Heard (@alexheard) December 12, 2016
Guys, it's time for some game theory.