"by simply dropping two pizzas into any organisation, teams will form around them, and then you have devops" - @phillip_webb #s1p @pivotal
— we're done here (@monkchips) August 2, 2016
Always lovely to be in the presence of greatness!#NichelleNichols #STLV50 pic.twitter.com/FMtOUrrGc3
— LeVar Burton (@levarburton) August 6, 2016
when you make a severe miscalculation but are trying to act cool about it pic.twitter.com/9dYlFoBZ3I
— megan BRAUNY FOREVER brown (@thatgirlondeck) August 7, 2016
Banging yo sis.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 6, 2016
Fucking yo mama.
Jerking off yo dad.
Fingering yo old-ass grandma.
Blowing yo granddad.
Temp.
Comedian.#firststevenjobs
here's a bear who won't let go of the ranger who saved him from a forest fire, have a great day (h/t @Rob_Flaherty) pic.twitter.com/z8ftqkEgtU
— Emmy Bengtson (@EmmyA2) August 5, 2016
The Programmersâ Credo: we do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they were going to be easy
— Pinboard (@Pinboard) August 5, 2016
Shapes Club https://t.co/CJQdyFOCL0 pic.twitter.com/dO5UMr04v8
— poorly drawn lines (@PDLComics) August 3, 2016
FUNERAL INSTRUCTIONS:
— Arbyâs Provocateur (@SamGrittner) August 4, 2016
* Open casket
* Free bag of tortilla chips upon entrance
* My dead hands hold the bowl of salsa
My mans was just tryna feed his squad 🙏 and went viral 😂 pic.twitter.com/29S2jE8wBZ
— Finally (@FinallyZack) August 4, 2016
I made this voting guide to help you choose in today's school board elections pic.twitter.com/Ow9l8hD41I
— cwage (@cwage) August 4, 2016
21 USC §676 & 9 CFR §317.8(b)(5)(ii) make it a crime to sell sliced bacon unless there's a representative slice in the window of the package
— A Crime a Day (@CrimeADay) August 4, 2016
.@NowatNPL's Bellevue branch makes this list of the most beautiful libraries in all 50 states https://t.co/TIF0fQJQMT via @techinsider
— Michael Cass (@tnmetro) August 3, 2016
Being an adult is pretty easy, you just feel tired all the time and tell people about how tired you are and they tell you how tired they are
— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) August 1, 2016
Ridiculously successful campaign until the nomination, then self-immolation.
— St. Rev. Dr. Rev âï¸â¯ï¸🏴😻 (@St_Rev) August 3, 2016
Dunning Kroger - the phenomenon wherein everyone thinks their Kroger is the "ghetto kroger"
— cwage (@cwage) October 21, 2015
New recommendation from @CDCgov that #pregnant women be assessed for #Zika: https://t.co/bEdqJdwjcY
— Victoria Maizes MD (@DrMaizes) August 1, 2016
