My dad flew F4s in 'Nam. And didn't cry himself to death when he saw me "age" the edges of my D&D character sheet with his Marine Zippo.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) June 16, 2013
Easy way to tell which one is Kirk & which one is evil duplicate Kirk: check to see which one's circumcised #TOSwatch pic.twitter.com/1MIsaLuQg5
— whit (@whitneyarner) June 16, 2013
Nothing Gets Me Wetter Than A Monotonous Domestic Routine | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
Pro Tip: if you're gonna be Irish, avoid the sun and embrace the whiskey. Anything else is madness.
— Will Farrington (@wfarr) June 14, 2013
Quotes... the difference between touching kids, and "touching" kids.
— Sterling Archer (@Archer_Sterling) June 12, 2013
ill email you to avoid having to figure it out
Has anyone messed with database lately?

