nsfw
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I shouldn't have eaten those skittles.
whore
watch cbs interview with neil degrasse tyson on mining asteroids, get an ad for lasvegas.com/gaytravel
During the hadron era
If space is expanding faster than light can travel. Then it would be possible for the universe to be 6,000 years old as the Bible says it is.
The head of state has called for me by name. But I don't have time for him.
Fuck sexting. I just carry a picture of my penis in my wallet. I'll origami that shit into a swan for a girl.
— Majik Most (@MajikMost) April 30, 2012
you can't drink all day if you don't start first thing in the morning
I'm taking away your root access
Why does it already feel like a Thursday?
I will kill you with my sex!
I mean look at it. It looks like there's a monkey on your head!
I think my least favorite part of the vegan diet is the verbal part, where they explain it to you.
you gotta set some parameters or you'll never finish a list like that
The way some people debug makes me want to strangle people.
Asurion's expansion checks several boxes for Dean, downtown
You cannot unlock some secret double-not-racist achievement by just being regular racist. Otherwise Bill O'Reilly would be president of the NAACP.
Don't touch me with that weird shit!
I go bike riding, and I obviously go a lot.
I'm going to make out with random people
I rode a bike, for 13 miles!
You're in an good mood. That's odd. it doesn't happen very often. I don't know how to handle it.
I think there should always be someone physically at the datacenter in case of issues
i'm going to be drunk and/or masturbating on the plane as per usual
I'll just run the application [for our largest customer] on my desktop and run comcast to it for internet
“@zeminlu: UNIX' Russian Roulette: sudo [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo “You live”” /cc @HostChopper
— Klynton Jessup (@klyntonj) April 24, 2012
why does your soliloquy [sic] always say 'heath crunchy beer'?
ipso...
she downs lone stars like Santa Anna's troops