Fuck sexting. I just carry a picture of my penis in my wallet. I'll origami that shit into a swan for a girl.
— Majik Most (@MajikMost) April 30, 2012
you can't drink all day if you don't start first thing in the morning
I'm taking away your root access
Why does it already feel like a Thursday?
I will kill you with my sex!
I mean look at it. It looks like there's a monkey on your head!
I think my least favorite part of the vegan diet is the verbal part, where they explain it to you.
you gotta set some parameters or you'll never finish a list like that
The way some people debug makes me want to strangle people.
Asurion's expansion checks several boxes for Dean, downtown
You cannot unlock some secret double-not-racist achievement by just being regular racist. Otherwise Bill O'Reilly would be president of the NAACP.
Don't touch me with that weird shit!
I go bike riding, and I obviously go a lot.
I'm going to make out with random people
I rode a bike, for 13 miles!
You're in an good mood. That's odd. it doesn't happen very often. I don't know how to handle it.
I think there should always be someone physically at the datacenter in case of issues
i'm going to be drunk and/or masturbating on the plane as per usual
I'll just run the application [for our largest customer] on my desktop and run comcast to it for internet
“@zeminlu: UNIX' Russian Roulette: sudo [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo “You live”” /cc @HostChopper
— Klynton Jessup (@klyntonj) April 24, 2012
why does your soliloquy [sic] always say 'heath crunchy beer'?
ipso...
she downs lone stars like Santa Anna's troops
publish, MOTHERFUCKER!
Pretend I'm the bible and intepret me LITERALLY
I figured out what I'm going to do. I'll put it in a spreadsheet.
The kick you get in the end will be in the junk.
The map you will get in the end will be in hand writing, so I won't need to save this in the computer.
real company
male or female, I hit on every annoying recruiter and ask them out. I've finally gotten some of the worst headhunter shops to stop calling me.
