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Chaos Meeting-Monkey randomly cancels 10% of the things on your calendar.
— Ben Orenstein (@r00k) May 2, 2017
Urkel is drafted and sent to war. He misses Laura badly. He shoots a man from a great distance. The moment hangs in time. Did I... do that?
— Mxrk (@mxrk) January 6, 2012
Massive oversight in allowing non-Google apps to call themselves Google, in Google's own web interface. Incredible. https://t.co/lZP3eGdnIy
— SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity) May 3, 2017
I used a low resolution graphic. I care about the environment.
Chorus To ‘Juke Box Hero’ Playing On Repeat In Monk’s Bowed Head https://t.co/VtW5mP00qH pic.twitter.com/NZM5OTFg5n
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 3, 2017
In a futurespective teams places themselves in the future by imagining that their goal has been reached.
Belfast is like Nice after a nuclear war
Hubbs, man, we're just gonna do what we always do. We'll drive around like dumb-fucks, then we're gonna wind up at that Stop 'n Go place, man, eatin' those Renaldo's burritos.
Fuck yeah, I got a plan, man. I got a radically hellacious plan! First, we get a shitload of tall cans, right? Them, an eight-ball... no... quarter O-Z. Fifth of Jack, just to take the edge off, then we spark up the thick, burlacious ganja-bud, get those
We can also do God Save the Queen. Talent! Very few of us can do the bilingual version of Oh Canada though. We just make funny noises and pretend to smoke during the French parts.
The Sandwich Alignment Chart: pic.twitter.com/WzVQpdPGw7
— ℳatt (matttomic.bsky.social) (@matttomic) May 1, 2017
when you can do what I do, and the bad things happen, they happen because of you
